Dead Man's Cafe, check please!
by Julie Anne Phillipps
Two persons
sitting at coffee counter, one has complained of feeling tired.
“You need to get your aura checked.”
“Thank you but, I’d rather have cash.”
“Your negative projections are making you sick, just open up your lungs and breathe.”
“I have been breathing for several decades, and intend to continue. Without coaching.”
“If you have your aura checked, and cleaned. You could learn to let go of all that negativity. And my aura coach, SuZen, could help you get in touch with your spiritual guides, too.”
“My spiritual guides?”
“Yes, they are spirits who have passed onto the other side. Often they are our relatives and loved ones who return to help us.”
“Dead relatives? I’ve a hard enough time keeping up communication with my living relatives and I’m supposed to hang with dead relatives? They are dead. I get to stop thinking about them now! Not that I don’t miss them, but seriously isn’t it enough to still be alive? You know; think about it, if the planet is millions of millions of years old and here we are stuck lurking about as ghosts. Well, then, mathematically, being alive is the shortest part of our existence so shouldn’t we live it up! Wait to hang out with the dead after we’re one of them?”
“I am sure I can see warriors around you. SuZen could teach you to communicate with them.”
“Warriors! That's great, so some happy hunter turns warrior. He’s slain the dragon, conquered the villages, and then he dies so he can spend eternity following me around. After an illustrious career at the head of the tribe he is going to spend eternity watching out for a typist, what’s his next assignment? A car wash attendant? Poor guy must have killed the wrong chief.”
“Not just one warrior, three of them. There looks to be an elderly woman with them too. Really, you have to see SuZen. These are important beings.”
“Oh so there’s three of them! Poor suckers! And an old lady too! (I’ll need a bigger apartment for sure now!) Do they work? Can they come up with their half the rent? Who’s the old lady? My grandmother? She had bad knees, maybe you could move so she can sit down.”
“You will never transcend into a high state of consciousness if you stay so negative.”
“I am not negative! I am positive. (Positive that you’re whacked.) Wait a minute. Transcend into a high state of being? I went to catechism and, if I remember it right, we are the higher beings. The angels are below us humans on the Great God’s ladder of success. So just what higher state of being am I missing out on?”
“A higher state of consciousness and a fully developed sense of awareness. To gain good karma you have to have a sense of oneness with all life. Or you will be reincarnated as the same person, facing the same problems.”
“Wait. Wait. This is great, if I screw up, I can continue as I am or I can TRANSCEND my present state to become a ghoul following some sorry sucker around for eternity. What joy! Life in hell or life in hell!"“
“It is not about ‘following some sorry sucker around.’ Leaving the physical plain of existence would allow you to reunite with your loved ones.”
“Oh christ! them again. This really isn’t much of a pay off. Have you heard my uncle yodel? Sweet old man but to listen to that for eternity. No, that wouldn't work for me. Besides doesn’t he need to follow someone around?”
“If he chooses, if he has achieved a higher state of consciousness he can, but it might be that he is trapped in a cycle of reincarnation. I am find it difficult to believe you attracted warriors.“